Saturday, 5 December 2009

Do You Understand The Signs Of A Controlling Relationship?
By: Jim Favor

Being in a relationship can be great and unpleasant. A relationship can make you feel spirited or useless of yourself. The choice is yours if you want to believe it. But knowing the signals of a controlling relationship can help you to make a decision whether or not you are making the right decision for your well being.

This article will display some parts of a controlling relationship that you need to be cognizant of in order to know that it's happening to you. I know that sounds a bit far fetched to read an article to let you know if you are being controlled or not. But it's true, a lot of people are not cognizant of the understanding that they are being controlled and until you read up on information that shows these signals, life will keep on happening the way it always has. And if you're not happy that could be one of the reasons for it.

A lot of people engage relationships just for the primary fact that they feel they are on a quest to fulfill other peoples emptiness. Where this might be altruistic it does nothing for yourself if you are not fulfilled. If you give up your well being, your thoughts, your ambitions for someone else it will not help you in the least toward your own aspirations. There will be a day of reckoning when you will want to do what you want to do in order to feel great about yourself.

If this has happened in a long term relationship where a person has become dependent upon the other person for their feeling good and have to define their own self worth through the eyes of someone else then it's time for a self healing and open communication.

Acknowledging that your partner has substance or process addictions for the sake of helping those helping you is no escape either. One of the main reasons that people resort to addictions of any sort is because they aren't fulfilled within themselves. Why is that? If they are in a relationship and they feel unsatisfied its probably because there's no rapport between two people. If this sounds remotely familiar then it's time to turn off the television, radio, put the feline or dog outdoors and sit at the dinette table and talk about what's going on.

Get it out in the open and speak it out is one of the primary strategies that can be used to rectify the situation. This is your life that you're talking about and you want the best of it, so don't short change yourself by allowing to be part of a cycle that ends up nowhere.

Being cognizant of your partner’s actions is the first step in analyzing your own situation. You may be so intent on the other person that you may have forgotten that you may have actions that block it out altogether. For instance, you may be aware that your partner has a problem and that you indeed try to bring it out in the open but in doing so you become judgmental.

Knowing that people don't like to be told what to do or even blaming them for your own problem is the first step in destroying any type of communication link that you may have. So look at your own behavior and see if the other person isn't just reacting to you.

Understanding these signs of a controlling relationship will understandbly help you become cognizant of the situation. Reacting on these issues is the next stage and hopefully you will end up with a harmonious relationship that you can cherish for a long time.

Are you searching for that special person in your life? Do you get tongue tied with what to say and how to say it? Do you want to know how to present yourself in the best possible light to someone that highlights the positive traits of yourself? You can find out how to get this information in a FREE 5 day email mini course that will take you from introduction to keeping a relationship going strong along with a 28 page FREE report that will help see yourself in a different light. Visit and sign up for the newsletter.

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