Body language of seating positioning in relation to others
Lots of unnecessary friction is created in work and communications situations due to ignorance and lack of thought about seating positions.
The 'science' of where people sit in relation to each other, and on what and around what, is fascinating and offers opportunities for improving relationships, communications, cooperation and understanding.
Here are some guidelines.
These points are generally for the purpose of a leader or someone aspiring to lead, or coach, counsel, etc. They also relate to one-to-one situations like appraisals, interviews, etc.
Sitting opposite someone creates a feeling of confrontation. For one-to-one meetings, especially with emotional potential (appraisals for example) take care to arrange seating before the meeting to avoid opposite-facing positions. If you cannot arrange the seating give very deliberate thought to seating positions before you sit down and/or before you invite the other person to sit - don't just let it happen because commonly, strangely, people often end up sitting opposite if free to do so.
Consider the rules about personal space. Do not place chairs so close together that personal space will be invaded. Conversely sitting too far apart will prevent building feelings of trust and private/personal discussion.
Sitting opposite someone across a table or desk adds a barrier to the confrontational set-up and can create a tension even when the relationship is good and strong. It's easy to forget this and to find yourself sitting opposite someone when there are only two of you at the table. Sitting opposite across a table is okay for lovers gazing into each other's eyes, but not good for work, counselling, coaching, etc.
Sitting behind a work-desk (the boss behind his/her own desk especially) and having someone (especially a subordinate) sit in a less expensive lower chair across the desk emphasises authority of the boss and adds unhelpfully to the barrier and the confrontational set-up. This seating arrangement will increase the defensiveness of anyone already feeling insecure or inferior. This positioning is favoured by certain bosses seeking to reinforce their power, but it is not helpful in most modern work situations, and is not a good way to increase respectful natural authority anyway. Incidentally the expression 'on the carpet' - meaning being told off or 'bollocked' - derives from the extreme form of this positional strategy, when the victim, called into the office would stand to receive their bollocking on the carpet in front of the boss who sat high and mighty behind his desk.
Lots of unnecessary friction is created in work and communications situations due to ignorance and lack of thought about seating positions.
The 'science' of where people sit in relation to each other, and on what and around what, is fascinating and offers opportunities for improving relationships, communications, cooperation and understanding.
Here are some guidelines.
These points are generally for the purpose of a leader or someone aspiring to lead, or coach, counsel, etc. They also relate to one-to-one situations like appraisals, interviews, etc.
Sitting opposite someone creates a feeling of confrontation. For one-to-one meetings, especially with emotional potential (appraisals for example) take care to arrange seating before the meeting to avoid opposite-facing positions. If you cannot arrange the seating give very deliberate thought to seating positions before you sit down and/or before you invite the other person to sit - don't just let it happen because commonly, strangely, people often end up sitting opposite if free to do so.
Consider the rules about personal space. Do not place chairs so close together that personal space will be invaded. Conversely sitting too far apart will prevent building feelings of trust and private/personal discussion.
Sitting opposite someone across a table or desk adds a barrier to the confrontational set-up and can create a tension even when the relationship is good and strong. It's easy to forget this and to find yourself sitting opposite someone when there are only two of you at the table. Sitting opposite across a table is okay for lovers gazing into each other's eyes, but not good for work, counselling, coaching, etc.
Sitting behind a work-desk (the boss behind his/her own desk especially) and having someone (especially a subordinate) sit in a less expensive lower chair across the desk emphasises authority of the boss and adds unhelpfully to the barrier and the confrontational set-up. This seating arrangement will increase the defensiveness of anyone already feeling insecure or inferior. This positioning is favoured by certain bosses seeking to reinforce their power, but it is not helpful in most modern work situations, and is not a good way to increase respectful natural authority anyway. Incidentally the expression 'on the carpet' - meaning being told off or 'bollocked' - derives from the extreme form of this positional strategy, when the victim, called into the office would stand to receive their bollocking on the carpet in front of the boss who sat high and mighty behind his desk.
Sitting at a diagonal angle of about 45 degrees to another person is a comfortable and cooperative arrangement. This is achieved naturally by both sitting around the same corner of a square table, which also enables papers to be seen together without too much twisting.
The same angle is appropriate for and easy-chairs around a coffee-table. A table ceases to become a barrier when people are sitting at a diagonal angle, instead it becomes a common work surface for studying papers, or exploring issues together.
Sitting side by side on a settee is not a good arrangement for working relationships. It threatens personal space, and obstructs communications.
Low settees and easy-chairs and low coffee tables cause people to sink and relax back are usually unhelpful for work meetings. For this reason much seating in hotel lounges is entirely unsuitable for work meetings. People naturally are more alert and focused using higher formal table and chairs.
Interviews and appraisals can benefit from relaxed or more formal seating depending on the situation. Importantly - make a conscious choice about furniture depending on the tone of the meeting, and how relaxed you want the meeting to be.
The 45-degree rule is approximate, and anyway under most circumstances seating angles are influenced by furniture and available space. Importantly, simply try to avoid opposite or side-by-side positions. An angle between these two extremes is best - somewhere in the range of 30-60 degrees if you want to be technical about it.
Round tables are better than square or oblong tables for group and team meetings. Obviously this works well because no-one is at the head of the table, which promotes a feeling of equality and teamwork. King Arthur - or the creator of the legend (King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table) - opted for a round table for this reason. The term 'round table' has come to symbolise teamwork and fairness, etc., for a long time. Unfortunately round tables aren't common in offices, which means thinking carefully about best seating arrangements for square or oblong tables.
A confident leader will be happy to avoid taking the 'head of the table' position, instead to sit among the team, especially if there are particular reasons for creating a cooperative atmosphere. Conversely it is perfectly normal for a leader to take the 'head of the table' if firmness is required in chairing or mediating, etc. It is usually easier to chair a meeting from the head of the table position.
Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed). Assassination by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings, so positioning an opponent on your right side (instead of allowing the normal opposite positioning to happen) can be a useful tactic since this indicates confidence and strength.
In large gatherings of 20-30 people or more, a 'top table' is often appropriate for the leader and guest speakers. While this seems like a throwback to more autocratic times, it is perfectly workable. Groups of people above a certain size are far more likely to expect firm direction/leadership, if not in making decisions, certainly to keep order and ensure smooth running of proceedings. Therefore seating arrangements for large groups should provide a clear position of control for the chairperson or event leaders.
The same angle is appropriate for and easy-chairs around a coffee-table. A table ceases to become a barrier when people are sitting at a diagonal angle, instead it becomes a common work surface for studying papers, or exploring issues together.
Sitting side by side on a settee is not a good arrangement for working relationships. It threatens personal space, and obstructs communications.
Low settees and easy-chairs and low coffee tables cause people to sink and relax back are usually unhelpful for work meetings. For this reason much seating in hotel lounges is entirely unsuitable for work meetings. People naturally are more alert and focused using higher formal table and chairs.
Interviews and appraisals can benefit from relaxed or more formal seating depending on the situation. Importantly - make a conscious choice about furniture depending on the tone of the meeting, and how relaxed you want the meeting to be.
The 45-degree rule is approximate, and anyway under most circumstances seating angles are influenced by furniture and available space. Importantly, simply try to avoid opposite or side-by-side positions. An angle between these two extremes is best - somewhere in the range of 30-60 degrees if you want to be technical about it.
Round tables are better than square or oblong tables for group and team meetings. Obviously this works well because no-one is at the head of the table, which promotes a feeling of equality and teamwork. King Arthur - or the creator of the legend (King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table) - opted for a round table for this reason. The term 'round table' has come to symbolise teamwork and fairness, etc., for a long time. Unfortunately round tables aren't common in offices, which means thinking carefully about best seating arrangements for square or oblong tables.
A confident leader will be happy to avoid taking the 'head of the table' position, instead to sit among the team, especially if there are particular reasons for creating a cooperative atmosphere. Conversely it is perfectly normal for a leader to take the 'head of the table' if firmness is required in chairing or mediating, etc. It is usually easier to chair a meeting from the head of the table position.
Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were right-handed). Assassination by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings, so positioning an opponent on your right side (instead of allowing the normal opposite positioning to happen) can be a useful tactic since this indicates confidence and strength.
In large gatherings of 20-30 people or more, a 'top table' is often appropriate for the leader and guest speakers. While this seems like a throwback to more autocratic times, it is perfectly workable. Groups of people above a certain size are far more likely to expect firm direction/leadership, if not in making decisions, certainly to keep order and ensure smooth running of proceedings. Therefore seating arrangements for large groups should provide a clear position of control for the chairperson or event leaders.
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