stages of courtship
The initial stages of a (usually) male-female sexual relationship are commonly represented as quite a structured process, summarised below.
Incidentally courtship traditionally refers to the early stages of a male-female relationship leading up to sex, babies, marriage and family life, (followed for many by mutual tolerance/indifference/loathing and acrimonious break-up). Flirting is a common modern term for the early stages of courtship, or the beginnings of extra-marital affairs, which is misleading since most flirting happens for fun and rarely progresses beyond non-sexual touching.
If considering flirting/courtship body language in the context of dating and mating, it's useful to recall the selling and advertising model AIDA (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action), and especially that nothing happens without first attracting attention.
Significantly, women are said generally make the first move - by signalling interest through establishing eye contact, and then confusingly for men, looking away.
The process can disintegrate at any moment, often before it begins, because most men are too interested in themselves or the bloody football on the pub telly to notice the eye contact.
Where the process reaches past the first stage, here broadly is how it is said by body language experts to unfold:
Eye contact (females typically lower or avert their eyes once firm contact is made).
Returned eye contact (by male).
Mutual smiling.
Preening, grooming, posturing (male and female).
Moving together as regards personal space (male typically walks to female).
Talking.
Attentive active listening (or simulation of this, sufficient mutually to retain sense of mutual interest).
Synchronizing/mirroring each other's body language.
Touching (more significantly by the female; subtle touching can happen earlier, and at this stage can become more intimate and daring).
A generation ago this process took a little longer than it does today. Alcohol accelerates things even more.
You'll see variations of the above sequence in body language books, and no doubt in real life too.
Males tend to react to obvious signs of availability shown by females but miss many subtle signals.
Females give lots of subtle signals, tend not to repeat them too often, and infer lack of interest in a male failing to respond.
It's a wonder that anyone gets together at all.
The fact that most people do confirms that courtship is more complex than we readily understand.
The initial stages of a (usually) male-female sexual relationship are commonly represented as quite a structured process, summarised below.
Incidentally courtship traditionally refers to the early stages of a male-female relationship leading up to sex, babies, marriage and family life, (followed for many by mutual tolerance/indifference/loathing and acrimonious break-up). Flirting is a common modern term for the early stages of courtship, or the beginnings of extra-marital affairs, which is misleading since most flirting happens for fun and rarely progresses beyond non-sexual touching.
If considering flirting/courtship body language in the context of dating and mating, it's useful to recall the selling and advertising model AIDA (Attention, Interest, Desire, Action), and especially that nothing happens without first attracting attention.
Significantly, women are said generally make the first move - by signalling interest through establishing eye contact, and then confusingly for men, looking away.
The process can disintegrate at any moment, often before it begins, because most men are too interested in themselves or the bloody football on the pub telly to notice the eye contact.
Where the process reaches past the first stage, here broadly is how it is said by body language experts to unfold:
Eye contact (females typically lower or avert their eyes once firm contact is made).
Returned eye contact (by male).
Mutual smiling.
Preening, grooming, posturing (male and female).
Moving together as regards personal space (male typically walks to female).
Talking.
Attentive active listening (or simulation of this, sufficient mutually to retain sense of mutual interest).
Synchronizing/mirroring each other's body language.
Touching (more significantly by the female; subtle touching can happen earlier, and at this stage can become more intimate and daring).
A generation ago this process took a little longer than it does today. Alcohol accelerates things even more.
You'll see variations of the above sequence in body language books, and no doubt in real life too.
Males tend to react to obvious signs of availability shown by females but miss many subtle signals.
Females give lots of subtle signals, tend not to repeat them too often, and infer lack of interest in a male failing to respond.
It's a wonder that anyone gets together at all.
The fact that most people do confirms that courtship is more complex than we readily understand.
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